I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
I am empty
I am bleeding
I am misery
I am seeking
I am guilt
I am realizing
I am afraid
I am believing
I am underneath

a week with the koolets gang... damn

winning the lottery is hazardous to your health
seriously... the winner of a 19-million-peso pot in the Philippine lottery lost his life when seven masked men broke into his house in Antipolo City shortly after midnight Monday... .read more damn this is frustrating.

am apathetic ey?
its not me is it? a shocking fact - 38% of pinoy youth can actually recite/sing the national anthem and even fewer could recite the "Panatang Makabayan" not to mention there is low awareness and mabe apathy towards cultural values and national affairs among the youth. who can correctly identify their respective brangay captain and mayor? how about congressional repressentatives? the chief justice of the supreme court? guess am not alone ey? so sad as i look at whats happening to us. ashamed to be a filipino? ashamed of poverty, criminals, dirty surroundings, corruption, terrorism, chismis, being late, and a host of others? the next presidential election's just two years away. hope things will change by then. hoping just hoping.

stop the noise... am on serious mode
i love kids. who doesnt? well there are some kid-o-phobics out there -- i guess im one of them in some occasions. like today for example! i was awaken by a loud crash around 6am - oh that's just my 8 year old neice crashing herself in a monobloc chair (those white plastic thingys) oh just imagine the poor chair. my neice is 60 kilos i think if not more - just imagine the impact. well thats not the end of it later in the afternoon the trio -- thats my 5 yr old nephew, 4 yr old niece and the 8 yr old giant -- started their mini concert. whaaaaah. imagine banging pianos, volume 10 karaokes and 3 loudmouths. and my mom was so amazed! that she even wants the kids to stay in for the whole week. whaaaaaaah. gosh what is it with long sembreaks and kids all over the place! i need to get out. i need my life back.

this friday five is kindda late.

1. What is your favorite scary movie?
At the moment nothing tops RINGU TRILOGY. man that shite scary. still gives me the creeps if i think about it.

2. What is your favorite Halloween treat?
popcorn. thats the only thing that we eat on halloween. well besides the possibility of m&m's and smarties.

.3. Do you dress up for Halloween? If so, describe your best Halloween costume
damn i miss high school. we used to have lots of halloween parties (well once a year). and we do gigs on halloween damn i miss the applecurst. tho i never wore costume on the said events. but i did once i think -- we had a sort of halloween party at our village and kids need to wear costume or else no goodies sort of thing. tho i dont remember much of it. hmm bummer

4. Do you enjoy going to haunted houses or other spooky events?
yeah, but then i scare the hell out of myself. gosh i hate MGB's halloween specials! especial when i was young -- it scares me.

5. Will you dress up for Halloween this year?
maybe if i feel like it. tho i dont plan to go to this one halloween party i got invited to - think its boring. coz u need costumes. hahaha

omg richard harris died. now who's gonna play Professor Albus Dumbledore? i was hoping to see him in the next harry potter flicks. damn. but on the lighter side mac guyver's coming back well not the richard dean anderson but a new mac guyver series. i think its a younger version of mac guyver something like smallville.

alexis bledel of gilmore girl's gonna star in a new disney movie called tuck everlasting. hope its good. i miss watching gilmore girls. i wasnt able to finish the season. damn finals!

am gonna start a revolution
dont know how, dont know when, and dont know if i can do it. but i will coz theres too much hate in this world. we never evolved from those cave menish savages. we're still savages. we still act like animals. we are animals?!? so am gonna start a movement. stop the hate movement. spread the love movement. whatsoever. am just thinking. am just hoping theres an end to hate. its hard but its not impossible.

brain freeze
im not much of a morning person. my brain needs some sun and an average of 6 hours of sleep to work. but who cares right. i just won my self a CD for waking up at 5am. no sunshine and no 6 hours of sleep. i was on live radio -- wondering what i could have said on air -- coz i cant remember. my brain's asleep. but am awake. i won a cranberries star album. oh life's great! what a great thing to start this wonderful day. was it luck? or am still sleeping.

i can't get no satisfaction

is it strange at all?
got this from meg

they say am a dreamer. now thats not strange coz we all are. but this next one is: what sign of affection are you? they say im a cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be close to your special someone and feel warm, comfortable, and needed that i didn't know. haha

my new national anthem Don't Panic

I got sunshine on a cloudy day
being grounded for the weekend wasnt such a shite after all. actually had fun staying indoors. not to mention i saved lots of 40 bucks ice tea and 60 bucks beer. a couple of my friends who were also grounded (should i dare mention to say your names) stopped by my house for some good ol' movie marathon. havent done that for years. aww the beauty of cooking burned popcorn, trashing the living room, watching 4 movies non-stop (well we had to pause for wee-wee breaks, and fridge attack) -- i believe we did 7 once, and the usual how's your active "@#% life" trashing you talk. hahaha.

we started with sweet home alabama -- i think it was cute (is there such thing as soulmate? wonder who's mine). then red dragon -- yes sorry to spoil all my hopes for widescreen. the film was awesome! better than hannibal. but am still watching it in widescreen. then we had a break, someone volunteered to cook the second set of burnt popcorn. then after a few minutes of chit chat about the UAAP (should i believe the rumors about cortez?) we decided to watch igby goes down and left my big fat greek wedding as our finale. igby sort of reminded me of royal tenenbaums. funny in ways you cant imagine it to be funny that you'd rather cry about it. another dysfunctional family. culkin was good or as i may qoute my friend "wow sino yan? he looks like al pacino? anak nya?" hahaha well he resembles al pacino but the last question was funny. and the last but not the least my big fat greek wedding was hillarious. i really had a damn good weekend stay in.

still thinking about it...
got this from nicelle :)

*The Difference Between Men and Women*

shit for being grounded
and when i thought it was over. the long line for security checks, the big ugly dogs sniffing all over you, the men in orange jumpsuit staring at you, the bomb scare, the dread, the fear of going out, and the hate --- i was hoping to catch red dragon in thx (guess have to wait for the DVD now) fuck for missing the premiere i had tickets! was it a premonition that i sold my lower box oasis tickets? yes OASIS concert is fucking cancelled too (well who would watch the concert with all this riot). life is short for some (heard people died last night -- another bomb exploded) -- but i havent done anything utterly significant so i dont wanna take my chances. oh god when's it going to stop? why do we have to kill innocent people (if there is such thing as innocent) in order to prove something? what's the fucking wrong with us? why do we have so much hate? do we deserve this? is this the will of god? then what's god trying to prove?

today's friday five:

1. How many TVs do you have in your home?
3 flat screen type, 3 vintage , and a classic 1960's sony home theatre system (coz its huge) and its working

2. On average, how much TV do you watch in a week?
monday: BUFFY
tuesday:SMALLVILLE
wednesday:DARK ANGEL, ROSWELL, FRIENDS
thursday:AMAZING RACE
friday:JUSTICE LEAGUE
saturday + sunday: it used to be GILMORE GIRLS and WILL & GRACE (dont have all the time in the world and i guess the took off gilmore girls) STAR MOVIES, WOWWOW, MM, MM2 and whatevers on when i take a shower (i have tv in the bathroom)

3. Do you feel that television is bad for young children?
HELL NO! --- i dont recommend children to watch too many music videos tho --- its bad, really bad. have you seen those MTV's lately? art --- yeah. disgusting --- yeah.

4. What TV shows do you absolutely HAVE to watch, and if you miss them, you're heartbroken?
smallville and dark angel

5. If you had the power to create your own television network, what would your line-up look like?
goodness gracious --- kill mtv then. tho i have to think about this for a while... hmmm

emptiness fills my heart
what was i thinking? i dunno really... i guess the thought of banderas and lui in one movie was interesting. could be fun. well, it was fun in a chaotic senseless way. i really can't imagine antonio doing kung-fu tho and lucy throwing heavy lines. it was fun watching the two of them together. but whats with the get carter look?!? and the desperado feel? i guess it turned out to be much of a comedy to me than an action spy thriller. what's with the title Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever?

a new discovery indeed
CHOCNUT SHAKE --- heard it in the radio some hotshot resto's serving it. wow i have to try it. been a choc nut fan.

Yesterday i was driving along BF when i accidentally hit a dalmatian --- the owner admitted it was his fault. but i still feel the pain. it was really an accident. the dog ran after something across the street. there's this car on the side of the road that prevented me from seeing it coming.

Yesterday i started french class --- i didn't know learning a new language can be easy and fun.

Yesterday there was no cable -- i wasn't able to watch Smallville's 2nd episode.

Yesterday many people lost their homes.

Yesterday many people died of hunger.

Yesterday some people won the lottery.

What happens yesterday, today and tomorrow is meant to happen.

after the wrath
Rants

my blogger wasn't working for about half of the day --- kept on receiving server error 500.

my fridge broke down -- fuck i have to eat a gallon of ice cream!

i cooked too much pasta

Raves

dinner with my old friends

J.D. Salinger

testing testing... my blogger's not working again

i just have to post this...

"be careful of the toes you step on today, 'cos they might be connected to the ass that you will kiss tomorrow." - HENTAI YIN MOKO

now this is cool

Legolas Greenleaf If I were a character in The Lord of the Rings, I would be Legolas, Elf, a son of the King of Mirkwood. In the movie, I am played by Orlando Bloom. Who would you be? Zovakware Lord of the Rings Test with Perseus Web Survey Software

my new fave song ISLAND IN THE SUN by Weezer
thanks eunice!

when you're on a golden sea
yesterday out of 800 plus applicants only 300 wannabes showed up at UA&P for Philippine Daily Inquirer's very first seminar series called GENERATION WHY. the HPAIR staff said we were the chosen ones. but i know we were just the stupids who showed up. running late on the 8am assembly time, i was frustrated and frantic i even hogged the driver to speed up. oh did i forget that i was in the Philippines? well for ten seconds i guess but then i realized whats my hurry -- i bet it hasn't even started yet. well at 9:30 people are just coming in. talk about fashionably late. and the assigned hosts weren't able to make it. so who cares. at least we get free food or i think that's what's the 150 i paid for earlier. yes just 150 and you get tons of goodies, a hotshots lunch, meet your fave celebrities -- mine is zafra, roco, and miss abrera! and a souveneir shirt -- the one i got has a stain (bummer).

i signed up for Youth consumerism and Beyond four walls. as much as i like to talk about these interesting topics now i can't coz its sunday and its family day. so i'll probably post it later.

death sentence?
today's friday five

1. If you could only choose 1 cd to ever listen to again, what would it be?
now this is hard... just one cd over and over. hmmmmm definitely not JOHN MAYER's ROOM FOR SQUARES. honestly the album rocks but puny earthlings are exhausting it. so i guess i'll go for the safe answer SUPERDRAG'S IN THE VALLEY OF DYING STARS. but then again, i could always change my mind and seclude to silence.

2. If you could only choose 2 movies to watch ever again, what would they be?
another toughfie... hmm i guess it would be THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR seen it a million times still don't get bored with it -- has an amazing soundtrack as well. and lastly... i'm still thinking about it

3. If you could only choose 3 books to read ever again, what would they be?
i used to read books i dunno why i stopped so am waaaaaay out of my league when it comes to books. but i guess i still have a few LIKE WATER FOR CHOCOLATE laura esquivel, TRAINSPOTTING irvine welsh and og mandino's GREATEST SALESMAN

4. If you could only choose 4 things to eat or drink ever again, what would they be?
chicken
pink salmon
chilled water
banana
now thats not hard


5. If you could only choose 5 people to ever be/talk/associate/whatever with ever again, who would they be?
wow cant i choose only 1? why 5? hey wait can i say my whole college block. its like 30 plus of us so i guess that would be fine right? this is yet the hardest question... whaaaaaaaaah

more funny lines from game neverending

Grayson: what happens if one licks a gold bar?
ninsky: if it's cold your tongue sticks ti it
Grayson: altogether unsatisfying experience
lil jinx: hahaha

my blog has a mind of its own once again... come on work with me. why cant my pictures show??????

thank god for internet movie database!
i saw this movie in cable yesterday called A Damsel in Distress it was a late 30's Fred Astaire flick. gash i just love him. he's so good. never mind the fucking story coz it sucks --- just enjoy the music. and the carnival dance number was great. but the story still sucks!

we have to wait till july?
yep the copyright war will be ruled on july. talk about slow. guess we have to wait and see what happens. but heres a good read from Matt.

funny lines from game neverending

lil jinx: yeah am gonna post this one
Mr. Dawgg: ha ha ha
Mr. Dawgg: It seems automated... oh man I just realized how messed up that question was.
lil jinx: sometimes he is
lil jinx: :D
Mr. Dawgg: Is GOD a robot?
Mr. Dawgg: No problem, lil jinx.
lil jinx: thanks for the compulsion

Ferra Darling: Speaking of farm animals in backpacks, does anyone buy pigs?

i need a new camera... im dying with my old school NIKON EM. i have no knowledge about freakish digital cams. no what do i do

the weather outside is frightful
copyright is such a big issue in america. not nowing it has great effects on other countries as well. right now there's this case (i know there's a lot but this one caught my nitsy bitsy attention) that will probably define the digital age . who would have thought that making something great will still earn you something 100 years after you die? now thats an investment. but the thing is in this modern age we have to think --- why do we still have to pay for something so dead? who gets the money then? entertainment GOLIATHS? not to mention these people are dictating what you see, what you hear and what you get in the internet. nothing is free in this world. not that i promote piracy or anything --- piracy is bad. protecting the rights of the artists is very important. but come on these rich men should stop getting what's due to the people. well if you're not rich -- according to their standards, and if you don't have connections. you really don't get anthing.

not even your soul is free. but that's a contradiction. whoever wins this case -- the rest of the world still don't get anything. so who cares?!?

fishing the past from the disposal
im trying to make this new layout work... its been a while. i'm losing touch.

my first time

actually have no idea where to start. should i start on how i feel, what happened, whats gonna happen, how it happened, what am gonna do with what happened?

it really hurts to watch the team you cheered on for four years to crumble. to take defeat. to bow down. to let go. to step aside. to graciously accept ateneo as the new champions. yes ateneo won the 65th UAAP title. after fourteen years they finally got it. CONGRATULATIONS. yes as much as it hurts. as much as we wish it was all a dream. as much as we wish to wake up and see lasalle make those missed baskets.

it hurts so much coz im used to see lasalle win. im used to see green balloons falling on the floor. im used to see green shirts jumping up and down. im used to hear brother roly announce the cancellation of classes. im used to cheering animo lasalle on our way out of the colliseum. im used to having bonfires at school after the big win.



and as if a big hand took it all away. the hard work. the cheers. the balloons. the parties. the bonfire. and all of what's left of yesterday's game is just a little hope and some faith. hope that next year we'll still be that strong enough, to cheer and fight and that faith that we can still get back the championship title. without these two key ingredients we couldn't have made it this far. four years really is long, but not enough. ateneo might have snagged it this time. but lasalle will continue to fight -- to go get that five. till next year. ANIMO LASALLE!

(image by jake verzosa)

today's friday five

1. What size shoe do you wear?
8

2. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
12 i think am not counting but i have lots of sneakers.

3. What type of shoe do you prefer (boots, sneakers, pumps, etc.)?
sneakers

4. Describe your favorite pair of shoes. Why are they your favorite?
my blue nike prestos. it looks good on anything.

5. What's the most you've spent on one pair of shoes?
secret

what you don't have you don't need it now
i tried to quit smoking for a guy... i tried to quit smoking for myself. i tried but he's the same reason why i lit 6 sticks tonyt.

you knew it... i didn't

Which High School Label Do You Fit?

You're the most likely to get into an Ivy League school or some other big university.

Take the test at [clinically insane]

You're a brain. You're the most likely to get into an Ivy League school or some other big university. You're ambitious, you keep your focus on something worth achieving and of course, you're smart.
By the way, the only reason I didn't bash you on this quiz is because I fit some of this description.

this is pathetic i really need a life

How Much of a Loner Are You?

Take the quiz at [clinically insane]

You aren't the most popular person in the world, but you aren't exactly alone everyday. You've got a good, close circle of friends who are all probably llamas too. You're the type that really just doesn't give a shit about where you stand on the popularity scale, and you're better for it. Some of those "popular" dudes probably mistake your carelessness for jealousy, and therefore label you something you aren't. Feh, to hell with them, I say.

TWO STUPID DOGS
Last night i saw the first episode of AMAZING RACE 3. It was hillarious. I can't believe I never finished any episode of this show. Now I defenitely have to finish it --- and i will. Hoping these pathetic doublemint models don't win. Stupid really stupid. Imagine they left their backpacks inside a taxicab. Well not to mention they're in the middle of no where --- mexico say the least. They don't even speak mexican or spanish. OMG how did these two get in the game. They made it at 11th place. Talk about luck. They beat the Soccer moms im cheering on. damn!

i need a life
i really can't stop playing game neverending. whaaaaaaaaaaaaahh i have to. i'm averaging 3 hours of sleep because of this freaking game. but look on the bright side i got in the high scores (im lil jinx) and that's a big diff. the game really kicks ass. so you have to try it.

using friends is not a crime --- that's what friends are for -- right ; )
I got tickets! I got tickets! My friend gave me tickets again! My friend gave me UPPER A tickets! thanks Eunice! Love ya! this saturday's gonna be so much fun! the whole block managed to snag tickets --- dunno how. whaaaaaaaaaaaah am so freakin excited. i dunno what to wear. should i wear white? green? black? whaaaaaaaaah.

got this from hannah

Do you give a fuck?

This quiz style was designed by alanna, adapted by Batfish Designs, and created by Missanthropy

a little spring cleaning and look at what i stumbled into... wonder where i posted this?

On What Time Is It There August 22, 2002
First, I hope that all discussions here will be limited to the level of ideas and not get too personal :)

Second, I respect any dissenting opinion to mine, because of my respect for individual freedom. But it is for me to decide to accept someone else's opinion or not.

I saw "what time is it there" last Saturday with a friend. We were so excited to see it that she even invited her dad to watch with us. One reason why we watched it was because of the overwhelming recommendation of our friend (who I think highly of?) and the mini buzz that it won a lot of awards --- in short it’s a great film. So after sitting for about 120 minutes of waiting, mumbling, looking around, listening to that one guy seemingly so amused and asking why? The film ended haunting me with the question "IS THAT IT?" Am I supposed to say "GREAT FILM? BRAVO!" am I suppose to believe what most of the people who watch it say? Would it make me any less to bend, to admit that the mere amusement of the movie was not enough for me? It just didn’t click. There are a lot of things that would go so much better if they were emphasized more. Like how the few moments of laughter didn't create enough opportunities to explore the basis of the relationship between the mom and the dead dad. Or is there a connection between the watch salesman and the vomiting girl besides the watch. To give credit some parts are movingly innovating (I loved the watch scene in the bathroom basically the entire act of that segment) --- but the rest of the film seems like wasted space.

Then again I might eat my words. But I believe no matter how much sugar you add in coffee it will still be coffee only sweeter.

funny isn't it
got this from meg